The Mummy Toy

Image from weheartit.com

So, to be sure I am not talking about movie merchandise, but rather an interesting topic of  conversation that has been going down at mamamia recently about playing with your kids.  You can read Mia's article here.

Ewww, the vitriol that is going down after that article is monumental!  There are parents who declare their undying commitment to playing with their kids, while others in humility offer they don't like doing it just like the washing or ironing, but see it as chore - something that has to be done.  Then there are people like me. 

I am not my child's play thing or play mate.  To be clear I spend a lot of time with my kids.  A LOT of time...quantity time. Life time. Chatting, cooking, colouring in together, reading and watching DVD's together.  Together as a family we go on picnics, go to the park, ride bikes and all that other stuff kids like to do.


I am the teacher and instructor of my children (not their peer) and while I may get a lot of criticism I would also like to say it is not my job to make my child happy. And before the ranting starts, please just sit for a moment and think about what answer a child would give if you were to ask them what would make them happy.  Ice cream?  Willy Wonka's chocolate factory?  Unless they are deprived of your company and attention, I can guarantee playing with you is not going to be on their list! 

I guess I'm just bored and tired of the army that rises when someone is honest enough to say they don't like doing a certain part of motherhood.  I am positive the reality is we all don't love doing it 100% of the time.  It would be helpful for new mothers if seasoned mothers didn't make out that motherhood is a walk in the park.

It is my opinion that children need to learn to play with other children and they also need to learn to amuse themselves.  That's not to say when I'm sitting at my computer or reading a book and my children involve me in a game of pretend restaurants I don't get involved and gladly sip up my pretend cup of tea they have just served me.  It just means when I am busy doing the housework or paying bills I don't sit on the floor and play Barbies with my five year old, or play the companion of Dr Who! 

I am really sad for the generation that is being raised to expect adults will drop everything and do what they request. I feel equally sorry for their future teachers and employers!

The Toddler & Me

So here we are in a foreign country, toddler and me shopping in a department store.  They say timing is everything, and so after 5 minutes of harmonious bliss, toddler decides to tests the boundaries and let’s go of my hand in an effort to navigate her own way around the store.  Maybe I’ve seen too many episodes of Law & Order, but no toddler is letting go of me, especially in a foreign country where I don’t speak the language.  So what ensues is a battle of wills.  A 2 year old desperately trying to let go while screaming ‘help’ to concerned on lookers versus a determined mother half dragging an unwilling toddler across the department store floor.  I don’t have to tell you who won….I hope you know.  

Parenting a toddler may be physical and mentally intensive, but the advantage is I control the environment.  I determine the boundaries. I am the deciding influence on my toddler’s life.  As my child grows and transitions into preschool, the boundaries of my influence slightly decrease.  Once my child enters school my influence starts to compete with other sources…teachers, friends and the playground all start to vie for influence over my child. 

I haven’t yet hit the teenage years with my kids, but I’m hoping if I stay consistent in my parenting and keep setting the boundaries, the hard yards I have put into these early years will begin to yield their benefits and just as my toddler knows I am a force to be reckoned with when it comes to her well being, she will also understand as a teenager when I say no to the car keys….don’t worry I’m not naive to believe there still won’t be kicking and screaming!