On Hagar...& the God who sees me

 

The Wilderness of Shur is a significant geographical and historical location mentioned in the Bible, primarily in the context of the Israelites' exodus from Egypt. It is a desert region situated to the northeast of Egypt, forming part of the larger wilderness area that the Israelites traversed during their journey to the Promised Land.
(source)

I am drawn to strong women throughout history. There is something deeply compelling about those labelled “the weaker sex” who rise above station, status, class, whatever the constraint, and take up the hard work, the strong position, and weather it all, often with very little support. When we look at these women, I often wonder: who is recorded as standing beside them? Who were their allies?

Lately, circumstance has had me thinking about Hagar. Let me say upfront that, like Hagar, I am not innocent in my own story, but still, in many ways, a byproduct of circumstance.

So, about Hagar. Very little is known about her origins. What we do know, from various sources, is that she was Egyptian and brought back as a maidservant for Sarai. In the Torah, rather than being named “Hagar the Egyptian,” she is referred to as “Hagar the stranger.” Stripped of identity, Hagar exists in the household of Abraham and Sarai as a servant. Of all the maidservants Sarai may have had, I often wonder what led her to choose Hagar to give to her husband. Nothing happens by chance; rather, decisions are woven from prejudice, experience, fear, and perception.

Nevertheless, Hagar was given to Abraham to conceive a child. Scripture records that her elevation to bearer of an heir made her proud, which in turn provoked Sarai. Mistreated and overwhelmed, Hagar fled into the desert. There, God met her. And though He sent her back, He sent her back with something powerful: the knowledge that she had been seen. Her cries had not fallen on deaf ears. And, this is where I am. No matter how hard, no matter how much I want to throw in the towel, in response and obedience to God, I return to my post.

Yet, God sent Hagar back to Sarai, only for Abraham to later send her away, along with her son, at Sarah’s request - Sarah who now was living in the fulfillment of God's promise! What is the lesson here? Perhaps this: life is fickle. People are fickle. But God remains the same.

What I am learning from this: God meets me in my desperation, and even though the grief is real and the circumstances often unchanged, I am commanded to go back and complete what I started. Even then, with no guarantees and a greater likelihood of further pain and human abandonment, I return time and time again, armed with the strength of El-Roi, the God who sees me.

The Mummy Toy

Image from weheartit.com

So, to be sure I am not talking about movie merchandise, but rather an interesting topic of  conversation that has been going down at mamamia recently about playing with your kids.  You can read Mia's article here.

Ewww, the vitriol that is going down after that article is monumental!  There are parents who declare their undying commitment to playing with their kids, while others in humility offer they don't like doing it just like the washing or ironing, but see it as chore - something that has to be done.  Then there are people like me. 

I am not my child's play thing or play mate.  To be clear I spend a lot of time with my kids.  A LOT of time...quantity time. Life time. Chatting, cooking, colouring in together, reading and watching DVD's together.  Together as a family we go on picnics, go to the park, ride bikes and all that other stuff kids like to do.


I am the teacher and instructor of my children (not their peer) and while I may get a lot of criticism I would also like to say it is not my job to make my child happy. And before the ranting starts, please just sit for a moment and think about what answer a child would give if you were to ask them what would make them happy.  Ice cream?  Willy Wonka's chocolate factory?  Unless they are deprived of your company and attention, I can guarantee playing with you is not going to be on their list! 

I guess I'm just bored and tired of the army that rises when someone is honest enough to say they don't like doing a certain part of motherhood.  I am positive the reality is we all don't love doing it 100% of the time.  It would be helpful for new mothers if seasoned mothers didn't make out that motherhood is a walk in the park.

It is my opinion that children need to learn to play with other children and they also need to learn to amuse themselves.  That's not to say when I'm sitting at my computer or reading a book and my children involve me in a game of pretend restaurants I don't get involved and gladly sip up my pretend cup of tea they have just served me.  It just means when I am busy doing the housework or paying bills I don't sit on the floor and play Barbies with my five year old, or play the companion of Dr Who! 

I am really sad for the generation that is being raised to expect adults will drop everything and do what they request. I feel equally sorry for their future teachers and employers!

Let your heart be light

For the last few years Christmas has been bitter-sweet. Let me explain...we have been living overseas and we have enjoyed it - all of it except Christmas time.  Christmas is a time to be with family and being away from your loved ones during Christmas is almost unbearable. 

I love Christmas time.  I relish putting up the tree, decorating the house, making Christmas goodies in the kitchen and mulling over what to serve on Christmas day.  Other than my sister, the only other person who takes on Christmas with full speed was my mother in law, Pam.  Living back in Sydney we would start at the end of October talking about what needed to be done in preparation, stocking up on Christmas staples and making our lists.

I have so many fond memories of organising Christmas with Pam.  My favourite memories would probably be Pudding Duty - as we called it...taking turns watching the puddings cook on the stove ensuring they didn't dry out during the six hours it took to cook them.   We had fun staying awake, playing cards, eating fruit mince pies and having a good yarn.


Christmas shopping was a marathon that needed to be paced to ensure longevity. It was not unusual to spend a good half day in one shop.  Then there was the time we went shopping after her radiology appointment and got thrown out the shop after I dropped something.  Needless to say you had to be there, but it provided both of us with a much needed laugh and giggle. 

Pam knew how Christmas was supposed to be and so did I.  She knew it was a time of giving and sharing your home up to people who didn't have family. 

Over the last few years we would chat a lot on the phone at Christmas.  She was sad that we weren't there with them, and we were sad too.  I told her when I played 'Have yourself a merry little Chirstmas' that I was reminded that 'some day soon we all will be together'.

Unfortunately the fates didn't allow, and even though we returned this year to Australia to be with her, she is no longer with us.  I miss her terribly, and so much more at Christmas time.

I don't expect I've conveyed in these short paragraphs exactly what Christmas with Pam was like for me, but I would like to say if you have loved ones close to you this Christmas LOVE them.  Cherish each moment, silly or serious....and have yourself a merry little Christmas. xxx.

Survivor of the week - LADY MARGARET BEAUFORT

My survivor #2, Margaret Beaufort, began life as the product of a marriage between 2 medieval power broker families. Her father died when she was only 2 years old and she was raised by her mother until her powerful uncle (the Duke of Suffolk) removed her and made her his ward, betrothing her to his own son and heir. For reasons I'm not exactly sure about, the Duke was executed later that year. From there, her other uncle, King Henry VI decided to betroth her to his half brother, Edmund Tudor who was more than twice her age (Edmond's mother was daughter of Charles VI of France). All this by the age of 9. At age 12 she was finally married to Edmund. Almost a year later Edmund died leaving Margaret as a 7-month pregnant, 13 year old widow. ARE YOU STILL WITH ME?

As a side note, Margaret's life falls between the history pages of 'The War of the Roses' which was an ongoing saga between two rival families - the house of Lancaster and the house of York for the throne of England.

After the death of her husband, Edmund, Margaret moved to Pembroke Castle where she gave birth to a son, Henry VII. After her uncle, King Henry VI was deposed from the throne, and replaced with the Yorkist, Edward IV, Margaret sent her son into exile for safe keeping.

To cut an incredibly long story short, over the next 14 years Margaret Beaufort did just about anything to stay alive. Ultimately, it was a plan she covertly hatched with the Dowager Queen Elizabeth Woodville (widow of Edward IV and mother to the historically famous 'The princes in the Tower') to overthrow Woodvilles brother-in-law Richard III and replace him with a King and Queen who would finally join the House of Lancaster with York and restore peace and stability to England. That is, a marriage between Margaret's son, Henry VII and Elizabeth's eldest daughter, Elizabeth (yes, confusing I know!). By the way, did you know this is how the Tudor Rose came into being?...it was a union of the red Lancaster Rose with the white York Rose.

What amazes me about this women is, she was in fact the person with the greater claim to England's throne - not by marriage, but in her own right. Yet, she made it her life's ambition to secure the throne for her son. The words from the Air Force trainer describing mothers as survivors ring loud and true here:

They understand sacrifice. They’re driven by a purpose greater than themselves. They’re problem solvers and multitaskers. They’re accustomed to delaying gratification. In short, they’re very effective survivors.

Margaret outlived her son, just shy of 2 months. Was this her enduring legacy? A mother who never relinquished the responsibility of care and protection for her son, to the extent of outliving him? Margaret was 66 years old when she died, and her son was aged 52 at the time of his death. History records her as the mother in law from hell so perhaps this is indeed our answer. Whatever the case, she still remains in my heart as a survivor to rival any other.

I hope you've enjoyed this post. There is so much information I could have included, but where do you stop?! If you have any questions, let me know. xxx

Survivor of the week - JOCHABED

'Moses in his mothers arms' by Simeon Solomon (1840-1905)

In all honesty I do not know much about Jochabed. The very little I do know speaks straight to the heart of an incredibly brave and courageous woman who pushed all boundaries to save her son.

Jochabed was a Hebrew slave in Egypt. Later named Moses, Jochabed's son was born at a time of Hebrew male-baby genocide. As most know the story well, (or have at least watched 'The Prince of Egypt') Jochabed decides to keep Moses from being slaughtered and hides him for 3 months. Keeping an infant fed and well looked after while shielding him from Pharaoh's men would have been no easy feat. As a slave, she would have been required to work. Maybe she was able to stay home and look after her son by proclaiming he was indeed a girl? Perhaps she employed the help of another Hebrew woman or maybe her daughter Miriam was given the task to care for the child while she worked? Whatever the reason, it is infinitely clear Jochabed risked much for her son. 

After she could no longer conceal him, she placed her tiny baby son into a papyrus basket (coated in tar and pitch) and placed the basket on the Nile.  There is no way she could have predicted the outcome, but in faith and a belief that her son was destined for good things she placed her baby in that sealed basket, as opposed to throwing him into the Nile to drown (which is what she was actually required to do by law).

What did she achieve? Well, by mothering standards a lot. As a result of her boldness, her son Moses was saved and drawn from the Nile by Pharaoh's own daughter.  To read more about Jochabed's story go to Exodus chapter 2 in the Bible. Jochabed was able to nurse and care for her son without fear - in fact, by direct order of Pharaoh's own daughter. You could almost say Jochabed had the last laugh - as Pharaoh worked hard to eradicate the male newborn population of Israel, his daughter was paying a Hebrew woman to bring up her own son!

When Moses grew older, Jochabed had to return him to the palace. I can't imagine the heartbreak she experienced handing her son over to a woman who didn't share her ideals or way of life. This for me, is what makes Jochabed an amazing woman - she was driven by a purpose greater than herself.

There are a few things I've often wondered about Jochabed; after handing Moses back to Pharaoh's daughter, did she ever get to hold him again? Did she live long enough to see Moses become the leader of Israel? And, was she ever able to grasp the importance of her role in the destiny of Israel?

Without a doubt, Jochabed is a survivor and one brave mama! 

I'm a survivor

Something I've long believed was confirmed in an article I recently read: Women are better survivors that men.

The following excerpt is from the article by Ben Sherwood, author of 'The Survivors Club'

Indeed, women are much better survivors than men. I discovered this surprising fact in the woods of Washington State, where the United States Air Force trains its people in the art of survival, evasion, resistance and escape (shorthand: SERE). When I asked a hard-nosed instructor if he can tell immediately who’s got the survival instinct and who doesn't.

After putting countless men and women through very uncomfortable survival training – translation: wet, cold, exhausting and hungry – it turns out that women rule, especially moms. In this instructor’s experience, women who have gone through childbirth frequently fare better than the most strapping aviators. Under extreme pressure and deprivation, he says, the brawniest men can crumble like blue cheese while moms hang tough.

Obviously, your chances of survival depend on specific circumstances (and men definitely possess certain physical advantages), but the Air Force instructor wanted to make a point: Moms are impressively unflinching in the face of adversity. After all, he explains, moms have handled real pain. They understand sacrifice. They’re driven by a purpose greater than themselves. They’re problem solvers and multitaskers. They’re accustomed to delaying gratification. In short, they’re very effective survivors.

I love being a woman and would never want to trade places with a man.

Over the next few weeks I've decided to dedicate some posts to my favourite survivors.

Drum roll please.....here is the list:

1. Jochabed - mother of moses from the bible who risked everything to save the life of her son.

2. Lady Margaret Beaufort - matriarch of the Tudor Dynasty. An amazing survivor who risked everything for the safety and future throne of her son.

3. Catherine of Aragon - Henry VIII's first wife who would not give up her position as Henry's one and true wife.

4. Elizabeth I - born a princess, declared illegitimate at 3 years old at the time of her mothers execution. After dodging many bullets finally made it to the throne and reigned for 45 years, 4 years shy of her father, brother and sister combined.

5. Susanna Wesley - mother of John & Charles Wesley & 17 other children. She is often referred to as the mother of Methodism. There is so much about this woman I love.

6. Nigella Lawson - goddess of the kitchen, so much to say about her life!

7. Britney Spears - albeit not a popular choice. But a survivor, nevertheless!


Interestingly, all of the above are women and all (with the exception of Elizabeth I) are mothers.

I hope you tune in!

Amy xxx