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I haven't been myself lately. Earlier this year I was disappointed, really disappointed. A chain of events left me with the revelation that someone I had held up (very high) was human and flawed. I know this seems simple and almost ridiculous, but this disappointment came from someone I had idolised since I was a kid. In fact, as I grew older I thought she could do no wrong and was the ultimate example of what I wanted to be...kind, gracious and wise.
The realisation that something isn't what you thought it was can be hard to accept (extreme case in point the earth is not flat!). This new knowledge causes us to grow, and sometimes growth causes pain. The departure of something you held as truth can be an anxious separation. And, as it turns out, I foolishly went through this growth pain kicking and screaming and it spilled ugly into other relationships and area's in my life.
I realised this morning my desktop looked a lot like my life at the moment. Ugly, disordered and so busy with un-filed documents that I can't even see the theme in the background.
So, as I tidied it I got myself tidied up too. With the clearing, look what I can see again...